Pregnancy and preparing for a new baby are often described as a time of happiness and excitement. For many people, there are moments of joy and anticipation but it’s also very common for this time to feel overwhelming, uncertain or emotionally challenging.
Your experience might not match what you expected, and that’s okay.
Your emotional wellbeing in pregnancy and after birth is just as important as your physical health. Research and maternity care evidence show that around 1 in 5 people experience mental health difficulties during pregnancy or in the first year after birth. This can include anxiety, low mood, depression or feeling unable to cope.
You are not alone in feeling this way, and support is available for you,
It’s OK Not to Feel OK
Pregnancy can bring a wide mix of emotions. You might feel excited one moment and worried the next, or find your mood changes more quickly than usual. Hormonal changes, physical symptoms and the life transition ahead can all play a part.
You might also notice:
- feeling more anxious or overwhelmed
- struggling with sleep
- finding it hard to relax
- feeling low, tearful or irritable
- worrying about your body, your baby or the future.
Not everyone enjoys pregnancy and not everyone feels positive all the time. That doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you and it doesn’t say anything about your ability to care for your baby or how you will feel about your baby when they arrive.
It can take time to adjust to the physical and emotional changes happening in your body and your life.
Be Kind to Yourself
It’s easy to compare yourself to others or feel pressure to enjoy every moment, especially with what we often see on social media. In reality, pregnancy can be messy, tiring and unpredictable.
Try to give yourself permission to feel how you feel, without judgement. You’re doing something significant, and it’s okay if it doesn’t always feel easy.
If negative thoughts or feelings are becoming overwhelming or aren’t going away, it’s important to reach out for support.
Sharing How You Feel
Talking to someone you trust can make a real difference. This might be:
- a partner, friend or family member
- another parent
- a support group or community
- a healthcare professional.
Many people find that once they start talking, they realise they’re not alone in how they’re feeling.
Your midwife is there to support your emotional wellbeing as well as your physical health. You can speak openly about how you’re feeling – nothing is too small or too big to bring up.
Planning Your Postnatal Support
It’s easy for the focus in pregnancy to be on labour and birth, but planning for the early days after your baby arrives is just as important.
Take some time to think about:
- who you can turn to for emotional support
- who might help with practical things like meals, shopping or childcare
- what helps you feel rested and supported
- how you will ask for help if you need it.
Support can look different for everyone. For some, it’s practical help; for others, it’s having someone who will listen without judgement.
Feeling More Prepared
Sometimes anxiety comes from not knowing what to expect. Having clear, balanced information can help you feel more confident and in control.
Our Complete Antenatal Course includes support for your emotional wellbeing alongside pregnancy, birth and early parenting topics. The course is self-directed, so you can explore it in your own time, with optional monthly live “Ask the Midwife” sessions and access to midwives by email or Zoom if questions come up.
This gives you space to ask questions, talk things through and feel supported – not just during pregnancy, but as you move into early parenthood.
When to Seek Extra Support
It’s normal to have ups and downs, but sometimes feelings can become more persistent or harder to manage.
You may want to seek extra support if you:
- feel low, anxious or overwhelmed most of the time
- are struggling to cope day to day
- have thoughts that worry or frighten you
- feel disconnected from your pregnancy or your baby
- are not enjoying things you usually would.
Support is available, and reaching out early can make a real difference. You can speak to your midwife, GP or health visitor, who can help you access the right care. This might include talking therapies, specialist perinatal mental health services or other support tailored to your needs.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Looking after your mental health is an important part of preparing for your baby. There is no expectation to feel a certain way, and there is no “perfect” experience of pregnancy or early parenthood.
What matters most is that you feel supported, heard and able to ask for help when you need it.
References
- NICE (2020). Antenatal and postnatal mental health (CG192).
- NICE (2021). Antenatal care (NG201).
- NHS England. Mental health in pregnancy.
https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/mental-health/ - Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG). Perinatal mental health.
- Royal College of Midwives (RCM). Maternal mental health guidance.
- World Health Organization (WHO). Maternal mental health.
- UNICEF UK Baby Friendly Initiative (BFI). Building a secure relationship with your baby.